As divorce trials approach, the last hours before the court appearance can be filled with last minute negotiations and rounds of offers and counter-offers. Emotions between the divorcing couple run high, and it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and the context of where things started. There’s a fine balance between taking on the other person’s perspective to get closer to settlement and making sure you maintain enough of your own perspective that you don’t settle for too little. The current offer must be weighed against the cost of extensive attorney fees for trial and the possibility that a mediated or trial settlement could be better or worse.

Sometimes finding creative ways to reframe divorce settlements can ease tensions. For example, a recent client’s husband found it more palatable to pay attorney fees directly rather than to her as property settlement for her attorney fees. Small shifts can make a big difference when feelings of anger, sadness, or uncertainly are involved. Although I was prepared to improve my client’s settlement, she and her husband came to agreement on our bottom line offer.

If you’re caught up in a last minute divorce settlement, remember to step back and take a deep breath. Remember that there is no sure settlement in court even though the current offer may fall short of your expectations. Weigh in on the costs of continued litigation with the financial reality of the result you seek – and the emotional impact on family members who are directly involved in the restructuring of your family, especially your children.

You can learn more in our Divorce FAQs section.

Alisa A. Peskin-Shepherd

Change of domicile is a matter that the courts in Michigan take very seriously. This is where one parent – normally the custodial parent – is seeking permission to leave the state and move to another state. In the past, it was very difficult to change domicile because the court’s want to keep both parents as close as possible to the children, even after a divorce. This blog is to raise the issue of whether or not, in view of the economy, judges are taking a more liberal approach and granting changes of domicile more easily than they might have a couple of years ago.

Change of domicile is a matter that the courts in Michigan take very seriously. This is where one parent – normally the custodial parent – is seeking permission to leave the state and move to another state. In the past, it was very difficult to change domicile because the court’s want to keep both parents as close as possible to the children, even after a divorce. This blog is to raise the issue of whether or not, in view of the economy, judges are taking a more liberal approach and granting changes of domicile more easily than they might have a couple of years ago.

It is the opinion of this writer that if a person has made a good faith effort to find a job in Michigan, cannot find employment in Michigan, and is able to find a job in another state, the courts will look more liberally towards a change of domicile. To be successful, the person must show an actual job in another state, not just that he or she is searching for employment out of Michigan. The person must show that he or she cannot find employment, or comparable employment here in Michigan.

In addition, the person must show that the schedule and move is not being done to take the children away from the other parent. The party must show that there will be very liberal parenting time or some reasonable schedule to make up for the loss of parenting time and the fact that you cannot have the same schedule if you are in another state that you can if you are living in close proximity here in Michigan.

The party also must show that there is clearly an economic betterment for the children if the move is allowed, which is part of the statutory and case law requirement. Other items should be developing a means of communication regularly by phone, using a video cam, and providing as much access between the other parent and the children if the move is granted. These are important considerations to think about.

During these trying economic times, where Michigan leads the country in the unemployment rate, I believe that judges are forced to be more lenient than they would have been a couple of years ago, as long as the requirements set forth in this article are met. This is something that should be discussed on a case by case basis. At Gornbein Smith Peskin-Shepherd PLLC, we are prepared to answer your questions and evaluate whether or not you have a legitimate case and a reasonable basis for either trying to move out of state, or defending a change of domicile situation. This is an area where the economy has definitely had an impact.

9. How specific a schedule do you need for parenting time/visitation? The better your communication and the older your children, the less specificity that you need.

8. The typical, traditional schedule has been alternate weekends from Friday until Sunday, along with alternate holidays consisting of Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Easter, sometimes New Years, Mother’s Day with mom and Father’s Day with dad, sometimes alternating or sharing the children’s birthdays and the children having the parent’s birthday with each parent, along with any other visitation/parenting time that is agreed to between the parties.

7. How do you deal with vacations and school breaks? A typical schedule can be alternating or sharing the Christmas vacation. One example would be from the day after school lets out until noon on Christmas Day one year, for example, with mom, and dad having from noon on Christmas Day until the day before school begins in January that year, and then rotating it, along with alternating the Winter/February break if there is one, and the Easter/Spring break.

6. How do you handle Summer vacations? This can be arranged from the same schedule used during the school year to the non-custodial parent having one or two weeks during the Summer. In other cases, people will divide the Summer in half, or one parent will have the majority of the Summer, with the other having the majority of the school year. There are many possibilities.

5. What is “Right of First Refusal”? This is where the other parent has the right of first refusal if the first parent has a conflict or is going out of town. It is an area that often creates more problems than it resolves. Unless the parties communicate and it is spelled out, it can be a breeding ground for future litigation. Does Right of First Refusal mean that there should be a Right of First Refusal over day care? Does this mean grandparents cannot visit or pick up the children? Should it be limited to someone going out of town on vacation or for business purposes? The grounds must be specifically spelled out. Communication between the parties is critical.

4. What types of parenting time is utilized in a shared custodial arrangement? Examples are the 50/50 schedule, which includes one week on and one week off, with the other parent perhaps having dinner on one of the weekdays. Another schedule is called a 2/2/5. This means, for example, that mom has the children every Monday and Tuesday, dad every Wednesday and Thursday, and then the parties alternate Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so that the children spend no more than five days maximum away from either parent. This is a good schedule, especially with younger children.

3. Should there be different schedules for different aged children? Absolutely. What makes sense for an infant to two year old, is different than what makes sense for a four or five year old. What makes sense for a child in elementary school is different than a schedule that makes sense for someone who is eleven or twelve. Teenage schedules are very different, and quite frankly, with teenagers, often the schedule is not how much time the teenagers are spending with either parent, but how little time, and the fact that friends and school activities take priority over parenting time.

2. Communication regarding parenting time. It is important to communicate. You can communicate by phone, by e-mail, especially if you need to have a record of communication where communication is poor.

1. A good clause to put in your divorce judgment is one that says that parenting time/visitation can be modified as the children age, so that schedules that make sense for a young child, can be changed to one that makes sense for a child as he or she gets older. Again, the key is what is in the best interests of your children.

2. If I am seeking a modification or review of child support, how long does that take? It normally takes two to three months, again, depending on how back-logged the system is, and how your courts work depending on the state or county where you are filing for a modification to increase or decrease child support.

1. If I am seeking child support, or change in child support, what preparation should I do before meeting with an attorney? Have your income information, including pay stubs and tax returns. Have income information not only from your employment, but also if you have any income producing assets such as savings or stocks or bonds, this should be included. If you know the other party’s income, such as a former spouse, or the parent in the event that the parties were never married, this information will also be helpful. Your attorney, before filing, can run computer guidelines to give you an idea as to what to expect, and whether or not it is worth filing a petition to set or modify child support.

Is there interest on child support arrearages? Yes there is. And this will accrue at a judgment rate, with the rate varying from state to state. Interest and surcharges can mount very rapidly.

In addition to a show cause, what other means of enforcement is there for payment of arrearages? The federal government will intercept income tax refunds, a drivers license can be taken, a hunting or fishing license can be taken. There can be a bench warrant and an arrest and incarceration for non-payment of child support.