Nine Do's and Don't Regarding Your Children in 2009

9. Do not bad-mouth the other parent to your children. Do not denigrate or speak poorly about the other parent in front of your children. Not only words, but also negative gestures can convey a tremendous amount to your children.

8. Do not talk about a divorce or other legal matter, to or in front of your children. Your children should not be involved in the legal proceedings at all.

7. Do not argue or discuss any issues in your case or issues involving you and your spouse or the other parent in front of your children. They should be left out of the situation as much as possible. Remember, they are the innocent victims of your divorce or other legal action.

6. Do not use your children as a messenger or go-between. Do not pass information through your children. Do not use your children to deliver letters or child support checks. This is not their function. Remember that you are the adults.

5. Do not use your children as a weapon against your spouse. Do not threaten or do anything to make your child uncomfortable, no matter what the situation is involving the other parent.

4. Do not alienate your child or children regarding your spouse or other parent. Alienating your child or children is reprehensible, and is one of the worse things that you can do. You will cause untold damage to your child or children, that will impact your child or children but also his or her ability to relate not only to the other parent, but to others in the future.

3. Do keep your child’s schedule and activities, such as sporting events, practices, birthday parties, etc. When you spend time with your children, you should normalize and do whatever the regular activities are. Remember, parenting time means that you are the parent.

2. Do be positive regarding the other parent. Being positive not only helps your child, but also helps your child with regard to future relationships.

1. Most important, do make your child feel loved. Your child has nothing to do with your divorce or other legal matter. Never forget that they have the right to be children. You are the adult. Too often adults forget this, and behave more childishly than their children. Remember that you want to be able to share important events such as a baseball game, dance recital, hockey tournament, religious events, graduation, or wedding, with your child or children being free to love each of you and being comfortable with each of you at these important events.

If you need to talk to a Metro Detroit child custody attorney, contact Michgian divorce attorney Henry Gornbein today.