Michigan Family Law Videos

Who should file for divorce first?

Family law and divorce attorneys Henry Gornbein and Alisa Peskin-Shepherd discuss key considerations of divorce. In this segment, Henry and Alisa discuss the advantages and disadvantages of filing for divorce first.

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Henry: What about filing first does it matter?

Alisa: It depends; every divorce case is really unique there are some reasons people feel they need that emotional power that control over the case and over their lives and what’s going on so they want to file force. If there is a need for what we call ex parte orders regarding temporary, regarding support or custody sometimes that will give you an advantage or reason to file first, otherwise there should not be a reason to treat it as a race to the courthouse there is really no reason to unless specifically you know there will be financial issues or issues with the children or emotionally you want that ability to file first.

Henry: I think the final reason is if you’re afraid your spouse is hiding or transferring property, you need a restraining order or may want to file first to prevent that marital estate from being lost, there are some firms that encourage their clients to file first through fear tactics, but that’s not a valid reason, and there are many clients who I encourage not to file first, because they want to keep their marriage, and if they don’t want to file, why file?

When should you use an ex parte order?

Divorce and family law attorneys Henry Gornbein and Alisa Peskin-Shephers discuss important considerations during a divorce. Here, they discuss when divorce ex parte orders are appropriate for protection or support.

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Henry: Next step is ex parte orders and first of all what are ex parte orders and when should they be used?

Alisa: Ex parte orders mean that you’re filing the order with the court without giving the other side notice first. That’s one of those instances where they may want to file first for a ex parte restraining order, support or to keep children in your custody, so you file for divorce, and your not giving the other side notice first so that the judge can come in if there is a problem and that order has 14 days to object to that order and usually in that time you will serve your complaint on your spouse and give that person the opportunity to object to that order if necessary

Henry: it’s important and I know if we were talking years ago courts were much more inclined to give ex parte orders for custody and support than they are now, and I think the most important ex parte order I give now is one that neither party has to dispose or transfer of any property a kind of mutual restraining order and you keep a even level playing field I think

Alisa: Right and especially if it’s mutual both parties know that they can’t take anything out of either’s house or dispose assets, the judge is more likely to enter that if it’s mutual rather than one-sided

What is legal custody Vs. physical custody?

Family law and divorce attorneys Henry Gornbein and Alisa Peskin-Shepherd discuss the definitions of legal custody and physical custody, and the differences between them.

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Henry: what about, let’s start going through kind of issues, if there is children the first issue is custody, so why don’t you tell our viewers what is meant by legal custody?

Alisa: legal custody involves the children’s health, welfare, and education, and who is making those decisions with regards to the child’s care, not a daily basis but the larger choices like religion and education, and usually, even in divorce, both parents decide that they are both involved in major choices for their children, both have access to school and medical records.

Henry: Next issue we get to is physical custody, and tell us what is meant by that Alyssa

Alisa: Well physical custody means who actually has possession of the children; I veer away from the use of physical custody because it sounds so possessive essentially where the children are living primarily, these days I like to focus more on a good parenting schedule than actual physical custody

Henry: I think an interesting note to our viewers is every divorce needs legal custody, but there is no requirement about any ruling on physical custody, so we can have a parenting plan where certain days the children are with mom or dad without saying anything about physical custody or we can even use words such as primary residence, with one parent during the school year and summer, and we can give all types of solutions for equal ability to spend time with their children.

Alisa: And that’s really important in my practice where the children are involved, they are not possessions, don’t get hung up on labels, give up that fight, just focus on what schedule is good for your children and what schedule is going to be best for them.

Parenting Time Issues in Divorce

Family law and divorce attorneys Henry Gornbein and Alisa Peskin-Shepherd discuss typical and alternative parenting time schedules and considerations for divorce settlements.

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Henry: What about parenting time? Which if we were speaking 10 to 15 years ago was called visiting time, but now your not visiting your children your parenting them, but what are some issues you deal with in that area?

Alisa: Again were dealing with labels so even just thinking of visitation versus parenting time it changes how people think about their situation, so some typical schedules are primary responsibility during the week between parents and alternating weekends, while some people like to separate their time more evenly, by alternating each day the child spends with each parent

Henry: Which is really a 50/50 parenting time arrangement because each parent has 7 out of 14 days, you can schedule one week on and one week off, you know there are so many possibilities, and a lot depends on what were doing when were doing a divorce is what our clients needs are, and also the children’s needs. One schedule may make sense for little children, but teenagers are another story, and they sit where they stay, and really a custody battle involving teenagers revolves around Henry you take them, no, Alisa you take them. Those are the realities you know customizing parenting time there are important issues and it has to be done on a case by case basis.

Alisa: Right and especially with parenting time which changes with the child’s needs, so what is good for a younger child might not be good for a older child and that child themselves, the teenager, or 2 teenagers are going to react very differently to where their needs are, and you really need to encourage your clients to take that into consideration

Henry: Which brings up another important point, that if we don’t build into the divorce contract that the child custody time and plan can be changed depending on the child’s mind and age, it can really be a hassle to change that time, based on our current laws.