Family Law Articles

9. In many situations, you are the breadwinner. If not, make sure that you know as much as possible about family finances. Have copies of tax returns, investment accounts, bank statements, checking and savings accounts, and credit card statements. Remember, the more you know about your family finances, your assets and liabilities, the better off you are in the event that you decide to go through with a divorce.

10. Have you tried marriage counseling?  If not, do so. There are three reasons to go into counseling.  The first  reason is to see if your marriage can be saved.  The second reason is to build a support system for yourself.  The third reason is to make sure you know  everything you can about yourself, so that you will not make the same mistake and marry the same type of person again and again.   Filing for divorce should be a last step, rather than a first step.  During my career, I have represented two women who were each 36 years of age and each was on their sixth divorce.

9. Find out as much as you can about your family finances.  Obtain copies of tax returns, investment accounts, bank statements, including your checking and savings accounts. Credit card statements are important.  Remember that the more you know about all of the  family finances, the better off you are if you decide to go through a divorce.  If your   husband has a cash business, can you track the cash?  Is there a safe?  If so, photograph  and document the contents, including cash.

The laws in the State of Michigan do not recognize either common law marriage or commitment ceremonies as same sex couples are not allowed to legally marry in Michigan. The question arises as to what happens when either same sex couples or heterosexual couples, who have lived together and co-mingled property without being marriage, breakup. I have handled both types of situations in my practice.

9. Economic Pressures, especially in these very tough, economic times. People losing jobs, businesses failing, houses with negative equity, and 401Ks drastically being reduced are causing extreme emotional pressure on people.

8. People growing apart and going in different directions. The question that someone should ask is when the children are grown, is this someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Do you share enough common interests? Will there be a bond to hold you together once you reach an age for retirement? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

9. Is child custody an issue in most divorces where there are minor children? In most divorces, custody issues are settled very easily. It is only a small percentage where custody becomes an issue.

8. Is there an age where a child can decide who he or she wants to live with? There is no automatic age in Michigan. Under the laws, a child can have input. The older a child is, the more input that child has. Many courts have held that they are not going to let a child make the final decision. So to speak, the “tail is not going to be allowed to wag the dog”.

9. Does it matter who files first for divorce? Generally it does not, and in most instances, the courts have no idea as to who is the plaintiff or the defendant. The only reason for filing first is if there is danger of a child being abducted, or there is a need for some immediate money, or a danger of assets being taken if a restraining order is not entered.

8. Can I select the judge for my divorce? No, you cannot. Judges are selected by blind draw.

7. If I had a prior divorce, will the new divorce go to the same judge? Normally it will, unless the judge has been replaced by a successor, as sometimes happens on the family court where judges will come and go after a number of years. The goal of family court is to have a judge handling all matters of a family, including divorce, child custody, and juvenile issues, so that the judge gets to know a family if there are a lot of problems from a legal perspective.

9. It is important that you are fully advised of the consequences of any settlement, and that you understand the agreement. Remember that property settlements cannot be changed. Parts of the settlement regarding children, including child support, parenting time, and custody, are all modifiable in the future. Spousal support is normally modifiable unless it is set forth as non-modifiable, and that should be carefully considered as well, especially in our current economic situation where people are losing jobs so frequently.

8. If there is medical insurance and COBRA to be kept in effect, make sure that the forms are taken care of immediately because there is only a 30 day grace period, and then the rights may be waived.

9. Do not bad-mouth the other parent to your children. Do not denigrate or speak poorly about the other parent in front of your children. Not only words, but also negative gestures can convey a tremendous amount to your children.

8. Do not talk about a divorce or other legal matter, to or in front of your children. Your children should not be involved in the legal proceedings at all.

7. Do not argue or discuss any issues in your case or issues involving you and your spouse or the other parent in front of your children. They should be left out of the situation as much as possible. Remember, they are the innocent victims of your divorce or other legal action.