Family Law Articles

The laws in the State of Michigan do not recognize either common law marriage or commitment ceremonies as same sex couples are not allowed to legally marry in Michigan. The question arises as to what happens when either same sex couples or heterosexual couples, who have lived together and co-mingled property without being marriage, breakup. I have handled both types of situations in my practice.

9. Economic Pressures, especially in these very tough, economic times. People losing jobs, businesses failing, houses with negative equity, and 401Ks drastically being reduced are causing extreme emotional pressure on people.

8. People growing apart and going in different directions. The question that someone should ask is when the children are grown, is this someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? Do you share enough common interests? Will there be a bond to hold you together once you reach an age for retirement? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

9. Is child custody an issue in most divorces where there are minor children? In most divorces, custody issues are settled very easily. It is only a small percentage where custody becomes an issue.

8. Is there an age where a child can decide who he or she wants to live with? There is no automatic age in Michigan. Under the laws, a child can have input. The older a child is, the more input that child has. Many courts have held that they are not going to let a child make the final decision. So to speak, the “tail is not going to be allowed to wag the dog”.

9. Does it matter who files first for divorce? Generally it does not, and in most instances, the courts have no idea as to who is the plaintiff or the defendant. The only reason for filing first is if there is danger of a child being abducted, or there is a need for some immediate money, or a danger of assets being taken if a restraining order is not entered.

8. Can I select the judge for my divorce? No, you cannot. Judges are selected by blind draw.

7. If I had a prior divorce, will the new divorce go to the same judge? Normally it will, unless the judge has been replaced by a successor, as sometimes happens on the family court where judges will come and go after a number of years. The goal of family court is to have a judge handling all matters of a family, including divorce, child custody, and juvenile issues, so that the judge gets to know a family if there are a lot of problems from a legal perspective.

9. It is important that you are fully advised of the consequences of any settlement, and that you understand the agreement. Remember that property settlements cannot be changed. Parts of the settlement regarding children, including child support, parenting time, and custody, are all modifiable in the future. Spousal support is normally modifiable unless it is set forth as non-modifiable, and that should be carefully considered as well, especially in our current economic situation where people are losing jobs so frequently.

8. If there is medical insurance and COBRA to be kept in effect, make sure that the forms are taken care of immediately because there is only a 30 day grace period, and then the rights may be waived.

9. Do not bad-mouth the other parent to your children. Do not denigrate or speak poorly about the other parent in front of your children. Not only words, but also negative gestures can convey a tremendous amount to your children.

8. Do not talk about a divorce or other legal matter, to or in front of your children. Your children should not be involved in the legal proceedings at all.

7. Do not argue or discuss any issues in your case or issues involving you and your spouse or the other parent in front of your children. They should be left out of the situation as much as possible. Remember, they are the innocent victims of your divorce or other legal action.

1. The first reason for marriage counseling is to see if the marriage can be saved. I recommend that in all situations because there are many cases where people have drifted apart, and through counseling with an independent, objective third party who is trained as a marriage counselor or therapist, the lines of communication can often be re-established. Through effective counseling, if people are really willing to work at it, the issues that led to a possible divorce can be resolved and people can build a stronger relationship to move forward in the future as husband and wife.

2. The second reason is for a support system. Anyone going through a divorce needs as much support as possible. Having a counselor, who could be a psychologist, social worker, or psychiatrist, can be a means of venting, helping you clear your thoughts, and providing you support as you go through one of the most traumatic times in your life. As far as life-altering events, a divorce is the third most traumatic, with the most traumatic being the death of a child. Second is the death of a spouse in an in-tact marriage. It is important not only to have a therapist working with you, but also to have the support of friends and relatives, because a divorce is a very difficult time in your life.

3. The third and final reason for therapy during a divorce is so that you can learn more about yourself, and hopefully not make the same mistake again. I've learned over the many years of my practice as an expert and specialist in family law, that people tend to repeat their mistakes. Someone who was married to an abusive spouse, and does not have therapy, will marry an abusive spouse again. Someone who is married to an alcoholic or someone with certain types of personality problems, tends to gravitate towards the same type of individual.

In my career, I represented two women who were each 36 years of age when I handled their sixth divorce. Clearly, these were two women who tended to repeat their mistakes again and again. One of the women remarried for a seventh time, and came back to me wanting a divorce. We had gotten to know each other fairly well and I asked her why, and she said, because she had fallen in love with someone else. I said, why don't you work this through and not get a divorce, because her husband wanted to save the marriage. She said no, she had to follow her heart. She did. I obtained divorce number seven for her, and a year or so later, she contacted me to say that I was right, and she was back living with husband number seven, but had decided not to get married, but just live together.

Clearly, knowing who you are, having appropriate therapy can help anyone to grow and move forward in a fashion that he or she will not repeat the mistakes that led to a divorce.

Michigan Family Law information provided by Bloomfield Hills, MI Divorce Attorney Henry Gornbein.

Both the husband and wife meet with an attorney who specializes in family law and is also certified as a mediator, as are all of the attorneys at Family Law of Michigan. An agreement is reached at the first meeting that the attorney will be acting as a mediator and will not be representing either the husband or wife in the divorce. The role of the attorney will be to meet with the parties to cover all issues in the divorce in an effort to help them resolve everything in an amicable fashion.

In a recent Detroit Free Press article about the challenges of divorce in the Michigan economy, Family Law of Michigan attorney Henry Gornbein was interviewed to share his expertise. Henry related his experience and observations of the differences in divorces given the current financial climate.

"A lot of people are waiting on divorces because things are so bad. The filings are way down," said Henry Gornbein, a Bloomfield Hills attorney. "We've got houses with negative equity. Everybody is miserable ... I have people who file, then realize they can't do it economically unless they're still living together.

"When they do decide to divorce, we have to be very creative with mediations and arbitrations," he said.

Read the full article.